The Little Girl I Once Knew

little-girl

Dear Abby,

It wasn’t too long ago that I was a small child. A child that cared less about anything. A happy child. Like you.

But then came change.

I was starting to realize that everyone around me was judging me. My friends, my parents, every single one of them.

Insecurity is what changed me.

I did not grow up. No, growing up doesn’t change you. Your environment, your consciousness, that’s what changes you. I didn’t grow up, because I’m still childish, I still love the little things in life, I play children games sometimes, but those actions are kept on closed doors. When the door is open, I’m different. I’m not myself.

Everyone around you will judge you subconsciously. They will hurt you, but you have to be strong. You’ll give in now and then, but you’ll be able to go on. Your scars will heal, like mine are.

While I was little, I wanted so badly to be a teen. I thought it would be fun. I had a ridiculous idea that I would be free. That my parents would be less controlling.

I was wrong. It’s much worse.

I want to go back to the times that every little thing was funny. To the times where I can be weird, and it would be acceptable.

I want to be that happy little girl again. I want to be you again.

– S.